Ever Wonder What The Oakland Raiders Would Look Like As A Sitcom?

Imagine if you will, that Jerry Seinfeld and a camera crew could turn the Oakland Raiders front office into a sitcom. While there wouldn;t be a Kramer around, the oddity of behavior would certainly makes for some laughs. -April, 2008, inside the owner;s office of the Oakland Raiders, a clandestine meeting between Al Davis, John Herrera and Amy Trask is taking place. Davis: We need a playmaker. A vertical threat like Cliff Branch. Can we get Randy Moss, that kid can play!Herrera: We traded him to New England for fourth round pick you spent on some kid ; 6 Sanchez Purple AFL50th jersey
cause his cousin sells those velvet sweat suits you like. We got 25% off your entire first order. Davis: yes, yes; I do like velvet. Mmmmm;Trask: What about that guy, Jerome Walker, the one who plays for Green Bay?Herrera: You mean ;JaMarcus;? Trask: Yeah, that;s it, JaMarcus Walker. Davis: Get him on the phone! And, see if he;s related to anyone in the golf cart business, mine;s been acting up;Herrera: Boss, I just looked and the Packers have no record of a Jamarcus Walker on their team. They did have a Javon Walker, but they sent him to Denver. Davis: Newman! Trask: I found him. Get this, Sham-a-ham hates the kid. Seems they had a falling out over breath spray.Davis: That Shammy is a close talker. That;s why I bounced his.Herrera: Hate that guy!Davis: Get Walker on the phone! Make him a millionaire!Trask: Oh wait, it says here he signed with another franchise last month; oh, sorry boss, he;s already on our team.Davis: Crap! Who else can we get? I got money and I;m not afraid to spend it!Herrera: Well, we stole everyone else from Atlanta, how about that mouthy kid who plays corner? Tamba Hall; oh wait, he;s a linebacker; here it is DeAngelo Hall!Davis: I love that kid! Make him a millionaire! Trask: Done!Davis: Now, we need someone else. Maybe we should play this safe and do what;s always worked for us, steal a player from the Superbowl Champs!Herrera: Ummm; boss, that hasn;t worked out so-Davis: SILENCE!Trask: How about Gibril Wilson? He;s in play. Davis: Make it so!Herrera: Now what, boss?Davis: Now Igor, err, I mean John, we sit back and wait for the Lombardi Trophy to fall into our laps. As long as that Monte Kiffin kid doesn;t screw it up, we;re set. Trask: Ummm, sir, Monte is the defensive coordinator for Tampa Bay-Davis:! Then who theis our coach?Herrera: Lame Kiffin, Monte;s kid. Davis: Make him a millionaire! Herrera: Done!Cut to the next offseason. Davis: Darn that Monte Kiffin and his little dog! We;d be in Kansas by now if it wasn;t for them!Herrera: What;s in Kansas, boss? Davis: SILENCE! You know what I meant;Trask: Well, we cut Hall and Wilson, but Walker is still here. Davis: Cut Hall and Wilson? I told you to cut me a Hall & Oates CD! *#$&$^!Trask: Oh; well.. John did it. Besides, that big kid, Russell, he;s pretty cool. He winked at me in the hall the other day. >giggle< Davis: Make him a millionaire! Herrera: I love it when a plan comes together!Davis: Now we need someone else, though, to replace Hall and Wilson. I know, see if we can get more players from New England, I need some more velvet.Herrera: How about if we trade them Derrick Burgess and our First Round Picks for the 43 Polamalu white jersey
next few years. Then, we won;t have to velvet shop until 2012 and that movie says the world is coming to an end then anyway. Davis: Yes! But, I want that Seymour kid, I like his stuff. He;d make a great addition to our offensive line. We need better tackles! Trask: Ummm, sir, Seymour is a defensive end. Davis: Make him a millionaire! Trask: Done!